Cecilia Galatolo
Anyone who’s ever had a toddler knows what it means to try – often in vain – to be inconspicuous in public. Keeping a little walking tornado seated, quiet, or “low-key” for even ten minutes can seem like a feat.
Sometimes, technology seems to be a savior in these situations, but how do we make sure we aren’t abusing it?
Here, I’d like to offer ten tips to avoid gluing a tablet to your children’s hands– even though the temptation might be strong – when you go to a restaurant.
1. Use – don’t abuse
“Let he who has never used the TV or a cell phone to calm their child” – knowing they behave when watching their favorite cartoon – “cast the first stone.”
These accessible devices have potential if used intelligently. In moderation, they can be more advantageous for us than not. The problem – which is not a small one – arises when we don’t use any other means. If you want to allow your kids to use the tablet when you go out, give yourself a time limit to how long you’ll allow it (10-15 minutes). Be strict with yourself. Don’t exceed the time you set before going out.
2. Accept that children are children: don’t only think about how to “turn them off”
It is important not to take advantage of the hypnosis effect that the screen has on our children. We cannot fall into the temptation to always exclusively use technology to manage their lives, whether at home or in public.
As I write this, I have children who are “tearing the house apart” because they are playing “The Floor is Lava!” game. In their imagination, the living room turned into a restaurant, complete with a sign.
Renouncing the tablet, TV, video games, etc. involves “risks.” We give up on having a perfectly neat home throughout the day. I, personally, wait for my kids to go to sleep to then enjoy an orderly home. When going out in public, parents should give up on the idea that they can go unnoticed and accept that children will be children – while still respecting others. Is this pointing out the obvious? No, it isn’t, if our main concern is “switching them off.”
3. If possible, choose places suitable for young children
If the kids are happy, the parents are happy. That’s the golden rule when choosing a restaurant, vacation spot, or outing, when you have kids.
Finding places they’ll enjoy, too, implies less need to entertain them and more peace of mind for parents to keep track of them. Another thing you must accept: “Life as it once was” is a thing of the past. If my husband and I want a “date night,” we leave the kids with a relative or babysitter. Otherwise, we end up taking them along and putting a tablet in front of their faces.
4. Organize outings with other families
An easy way to avoid boredom and tantrums – and therefore screens – is to organize outings where there are other children. With lots of kids, others might be bothered by it; however, if you look for a place suitable for kids (where there are open/outdoor spaces, or play rooms) and let them play with friends, they won’t feel the need to be entertained by a screen!
5. Buy sticker books, kid magazines, and simple board games
A while ago, I gave my five-year-old daughter a book of paper dolls. We were outside, and she had no little friends to play with, but she spent two hours dressing her little dolls, never asking for the phone. Look for certain magazines, coloring books, and other sorts of interactive books together with your children. Rediscover board games, even. If kids liked them in the past, when tablets weren’t around, why shouldn’t kids today like them?
6. Taking along art supplies.
Never leave your house without pens, markers, a few sheets of paper, sketchbooks, or coloring books. Little kids typically love to doodle. Of course, to appreciate this “art,” their parents should introduce them to it. If you hand them the tablet every “time there’s a free minute,” then they’ll have a hard time accepting anything else.
7. Share experiences, tell stories
With older children, you might play pretend. Children love to use their imagination. The restaurant could become a bear’s cave, and we could be a family of teddy bears. They can choose new names, etc. If their minds are busy, there will be much less “need” to entertain them with videos that don’t require any ounce of imagination!
8. Take advantage of the family outing, calmly be present with each other.
With no table to clear, all homework finished, and no laundry to fold, when you’re out at a restaurant, there’s someone else who takes care of the cooking and clean-up. Take advantage of this calm time together to talk more deeply about yourselves. For example, as parents, you could tell your kids stories about when you were a kid or about your lives before they were born. Children will feel like family outings are magical moments. I, personally, have memories like these from my childhood, and they left an indelible impression on my mind.
9. Talk to your kids before going out
Before going out, explain to your kids where you are going and how to best behave there, taking into account how much they can understand at their age. Children don’t like surprises very much (unless the surprise is a new toy). Instead, they prefer being prepared for what lies ahead. I noticed that the times I explained to my children what we were going to do, where we were going, and how they should behave in that place, they were much better prepared and calmer than when they were just brought to a new place without any idea of what was going on. Cultivating dialogue, even if they seem “too young” to understand, is a habit that makes all the difference in the family. The more you empower them, treating them as rational human beings that are able to think, the sooner they will learn to really understand!
10. Walk around with them, and hold them on your lap. They’ll only be so little once!
2-3-year-olds are unlikely to sit still for long periods of time. It can be tiring spending evenings following them around as they explore, run, and touch everything. Let’s face it: The tablet is much, much more comfortable. While we may be tempted to put them in front of a screen all evening – since we know that kids never get tired, and they get addicted, just like us grown-ups do – let’s remember the fact that they will only be little once. It’s much better to accept the fatigue and let them discover the world, to learn to wonder, to look into the eyes of the people around them. Play with them, and help them to discover the world. Keep in mind that you will only have back pain for a short while, since they will be grown before you know it!
