From the communication in families to the communication between families

If we search “sharing problems” on Google, most of the results will be
links, social networks, files…

If we search “carrying one another’s weights,” the results will churn out
results about diets, physical exercise, and tips to stay fit.

We do not want to start a controversy on Google’s indexing criteria, but
just try to reflect on the meaning of authentic sharing, which goes beyond
a social media profile, and about the fact that the weights we have to
carry for each other are not just the extra pounds.

Sharing and dividing hardships make the journey of life less tiring.

This is why we would like to suggest to you all, dear families, to create
true “social networks” with neighboring families.

Families: communities called to interact

Recently we have published

10 tips to communicate better in the family

little tricks to help you communicate better with loved ones.

With this article, however, we want to propose a following step: to enhance communication between families.

If no one was born to be alone on an island, in the same way, not even
families can support themselves alone. Pierpaolo Donati in his book

The family, the genome that makes society live

defines the family as a “new social subject“: this means that it
is called to be integrated into society, not to close itself in to its own
world.

In particular, we like to think that families can learn to communicate
better with each other and to walk together and overcome moments of trial.

Let’s cultivate authentic relationships

We must not abandon ourselves to nostalgia and look at the past as if the
present were full of problems, while “once upon a time everyone was happy
and carefree.” No epoch has ever been free from difficulties.

Regarding our topic, however, it must be said that in the past families had
more opportunities to “relate” to each other, and not only in the small
towns. The women mostly took care of their children, so – perhaps in the
park or at the coffee-shops – they met and shared “their” problems (perhaps
even too much, as we can understand from the romantic literature of the
19th century). Now the stressful work rhythms and the long travel time into
the city do not allow for this. However, you cannot blame only the
difficult work schedules, because often, even on the weekends, instead of
taking care of relationships, we go to shopping centers, to immerse
ourselves in consumerism and distractions.

Know how to accept, then, the invitation to recover lost time with our
loved ones.

A special invitation to women: the pillar of the family

In particular, this invitation is addressed to women who have families,
who, with the feminine gift of knowing how to take care of personal
relationships, have the power to spread serenity and harmony in the home.

Once, hanging on the door of a house, I saw a sign saying: “If the mom is
happy, the whole family is happy.” I believe it is a simple and irrefutable
truth.

Women know how to keep people together and carry out the arduous work of
caring for and looking after their children, at least in the first years of
life in which, without a doubt, moms are the most reassuring and
influential figure for the children.

However, it is not always easy to live as both wife and mother.

There are many problems under which she may succumb: reconciling housework
with other commitments, the lack of rest and time for themselves, the need
to work endless hours to handle various expenses, the continuous demands of
the children, their bad habits and difficulties at school, economic
problems, disagreements with the spouse, invasive in-law’s.

Dear women, wives and mothers, share your burdens, team up amongst
yourselves: it will do you good and it will do the same for your husbands
and children…

Unity is strength: it is not just a cliché…

Confidentiality is precious; it would be foolish to flaunt our problems to
the whole world. But if we have people with whom it is worthwhile to speak
to intimately, why not answer sincerely to the question: “How’s everything
going?”

At the baker we can continue to answer: “Everything is fine, thanks”, but
to someone, perhaps to another woman with a similar life to yours, perhaps
it is worth telling the truth.

Every woman is different, but we believe there are alarms that are not to
be brushed off, we believe that there are some particular moments in which
every mother needs a hug or a word of comfort from another mom.

For example? When you feel like you’re the worst mother (if you think you
are, you most likely are not: you have taken your task seriously, and you
want to do it perfectly… confide in someone about this feeling to then look
at things with clarity), when you cannot get yourself to smile anymore
(maybe you need someone to help you to calm down), when being married and
having children does not seem so ideal to you (it can happen, of course,
even if you love your family… what life situation is always
pleasant?), when you believe that the moments of crisis only happen to you
(often we have this silly belief: to see that it is not really this way
helps us to calm ourselves when upset)

Confiding in someone who also struggles with my very same problems really
helps me.

Friendship makes a difference

As C. S. Lewis, author of famous literary works, including The Chronicles of Narnia says: “Friendship is born when one person
says to another: “How? You too? I thought I was the only one! “».

We are born to share our journey. Nobody is suited to loneliness… and
loneliness becomes more acute when we do not communicate “seriously.”

To communicate truly, it means putting away the masks; it means trusting
someone to the point of stripping oneself down and telling them what we are
ashamed of… we will then discover that the “shadows” are not lacking even
within the most beautiful and “bright” families… but realizing the
darkness and looking for the light together is much easier and fruitful
than doing it yourself.