Ilaria di Paolo
The coming of social media has twisted our relationships and social relations – perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worse. We spend hours on our smartphones writing posts and updating our status, tweeting or posting photos and selfies. Everyone, some more than others, shares his life from behind a screen, trying to present it to others as beautiful and attractive as possible. In this way, consciously or not, we are all becoming “social types.” But here is the paradox. The more we put “ourselves” out there on social media by publishing our images or expressing personal thoughts, the more we become simple labels in large macro-categories. On Facebook, on Instagram, or on Twitter, every user seems to lose his or her personal identity and becomes a simple type of user. The categories are numerous. We have just identified the most representative ones for fun. Do you recognize yourself in any of these?
Zapping: they are those who watch and follow all the news, don’t like to post anything but are happy to see the lives of others. They love to “zap” by reviewing the timelines and profiles of others, a little bored, a little interested.
The NCIS: after years of voyeurism they have developed the difficult art of control. If they know someone, an overwhelming impulse leads them to do their research. They check to see if you have mutual friends or groups, they know your personal information by heart, from your birthday to the name of your closest relative. Obviously they do not leave traces at the crime scene and therefore do not take part in any dialogue.
Nikita: always informed and ready to affirm, with certain bravado, “yes I know, I wrote it or shared it.” They know everything about everyone. New flirts and watching the movements of their contacts are their daily bread. Like any self respecting spy, they speak little and act a lot, but when it comes to making judgments of merit they are on the front-lines, obviously they communicate on private chats and usually inform friends.
The Gym-Goers/The Provocative: concentrated on themselves and always ready to show off muscles and gym sessions, races, competitions… lovers of their bodies, consider the “likes” when taking a photo. They like themselves… why hide it?
The Peter Pans : those for whom every corner of the world is beautiful and have the innate need to share what they see whether it is a wonderful sunset or a gloomy day, they save themselves with clichés because they love to arouse emotions, whipping out an abundance of photos on a whim.
Navigating poets: they like to have a running commentary of their journeys, whether they are long or short. If they are commuters, it’s a drama! They love to share their travels. They simply can’t do without it. They know by heart the famous phrases of poets and singers and do not disdain the photo/lyrical phrase combo. Obviously they feel they are innovators.
The Protesters: they are perpetually controversial. No matter what the subject matter may be, they must dispute. Whether it’s politics or a concert, it doesn’t matter; they always line up and throw paper bombs with impromptu and sometimes even meaningless sentences.
The Howlers: those who, whatever happens, have to shout out in dissent. A result of the evolution of the protesters, they bring to an added “certain level” to social discussions whether it’s politics or economic choices.
The Haters/Troublemakers: defined haters, they are the ones who must have their say because the world cannot live without them. They hate everyone – they hate without regard. They offend. They use a colorful and often seasoned language filled with obvious grammatical errors.
The Melodramatic: those who have had it with the world every day. They share random sentences so that someone, often not defined, will read between the lines.
Tireless and tenacious they can go on forever.
The Religious: those who share every possible thing they can of Saint Anthony, write “Amen” under photos, and maybe say good morning by sharing their Saint of the day.
One user per season: Additionally, it’s fun to recognize the various users based on the season or the temperature of the moment.
Meteorologists: who can’t wait to communicate, even to the neighbor, that it is snowing, the sun is shining, or it’s raining.
Meteorologists with meteoropathic features: they can’t wait for the temperature to rise or fall to complain.
Summers: those who complain about the cold for 350 days a year and during the other 10 days they enjoy posting about their holidays, of course in the sun, covered in tanning lotion with a smile on their face. Immediately after, they return to hibernation.
Hibernating bears: the summer variant, are those captioning a photo with something like: “got a blanket and a hot chocolate, but can’t wait for the arrival of summer.”
Winters: snow sports, snowshoeing, “my goodness, what heat.. It’s brutal!” even when it’s 50 degrees.
The fun-loving bears: a variant of the “Winters,” those who can’t wait for the cold to show, satisfied, their light dishes to cope with the long and cold winter.
Tell me what you eat, and I’ll tell you what kind of user you are
But the subgroups are infinite if we talk about food, so we will limit
ourselves to the 4 macro categories:
The carnivores: those that if you take away meat, you take away their lives, and are not opposed to publishing photos on photos of steaks, slabs of meat, and recipes. They are obviously in eternal conflict with vegetarians/vegans, with whom they will fight to the death. Here, it’s every man for himself. The best wars are fought during the holidays, especially during Easter. They fight their daily battle until “the party has passed; fooled the Saint,” everyone goes back to eating what he wants and posting his beliefs at an acceptable level.
The health conscious: they are those who grab just a salad for lunch and a cup of milk in the evening. Those who like to live light, weigh 100 pounds, and must have their say under each photo of food, giving advice, obviously not solicited, on foods and which brands to buy. Obviously they are also healthy in their lifestyle, so they post photos of walks and runs, for sure more tolerably compared to the gym. Sometimes they can become a bit intense because they solicit guilt.
I eat/I like to eat/I don’t care and I eat: lovers of life and companionship who enjoy the sight of food and have no problem declaring their passionate love for any food. Usually they are accustomed to posting photos in which they smile and don’t care about the comments of those who do not agree with them, which they often ignore.
And do you recognize yourselves in at least one of these categories?
